Facing the Roy Problem

Previously: Called to AFC Richmond, Just One of Eleven, The Christening of Nate the Great, Let’s Finally Talk About Rebecca, Oklahoma, Football is Life, Searched for a Fax Machine, Found a Woman Named Sassy, The Benefits of Curiosity

Episode: “All Apologies” (Season 1, Episode 9)

Doing the hard thing. Team captain Roy Kent has a bad game, which is actually the latest in a lengthening pattern for him. Beard and Nate stage an intervention with Ted to say they need to bench him, but Ted is hesitant. To further their point, Beard and Nate give Ted the silent treatment during training, during which Ted sees Roy struggle and is finally convinced. However, his conversation with Roy about the lineup doesn’t go well, and Beard finally calls him to account outright after Ted expresses concern about Roy’s feelings and livelihood.

I can think of more than one instance in my own ministry when I had to make a difficult decision about how to handle some aspect of congregational life. I was concerned about the same sorts of things as Ted: hurting feelings, how it might affect morale, and so on. It often took other members holding me to account to have the difficult conversation that would help move the church forward, even if in the short term there would be some friction.

Anyone who has been in ministry for any length of time knows that these moments are inevitable. Sometimes we see it ourselves, and sometimes those with whom we partner have to point them out to us. And even then, we may hesitate, wanting to avoid confrontation or dealing with the fallout. But if church leaders see the same issue, that hopefully means that they’ll also back us up when it’s time to make a move.

Coming clean at last. The issues with Roy are only one set of difficult conversations that happen this episode. Rebecca is finally honest with Ted about why she hired him, getting the photographer to catch him with Keeley, setting up Trent’s interview, and approving Jamie’s transfer: all to sabotage the club to get back at her ex-husband Rupert. She apologizes, and prepares herself for the fallout. To her surprise, however, Ted forgives Rebecca. He says that he knows divorce is hard, and recognizes how much it must be affecting her to go to such great lengths.

It can be a beautiful thing when a minister and church member finally come to a revelation about the true nature of the conflict or tension between them. It may have little to do with the presenting issue, and more to do with the hidden pain that one or both are carrying. When that finally comes to light and the difficult things are said, something new begins to bloom.

For more about ministry transition, check out my new book, The Unintentional Interim: Ministry in Times of Transition.