Previously: Called to AFC Richmond, Just One of Eleven, The Christening of Nate the Great, Let’s Finally Talk About Rebecca, Oklahoma, Football is Life, Searched for a Fax Machine, Found a Woman Named Sassy
Episode: “The Diamond Dogs” (Season 1, Episode 8)
Out of the Aftermath Comes the Dogs. After the last episode ends with Ted welcoming Rebecca’s friend Sassy into his hotel room, this episode naturally follows up, which sees Ted feeling out of sorts about their encounter. He ends up in his office venting to Beard, Nate, and Higgins about it and asking their advice. Nate quickly names how nice it is that they’re all talking and sorting through this together, and later comes up with the name for their new support group, the “Diamond Dogs.”
I’ve mentioned several times the importance of relying upon others in ministry. At times this may mean relying on the gifts or expertise of the congregation to accomplish certain tasks or plan activities. But at other times, a minister needs the commiseration and advice of collegial peers. The nature of such a group will likely not be appropriate for the sorts of personal issues that Ted raises, but given the struggles of ministry, it is important to consult with others who best know what it’s like.
Barbecue Sauce. The relationship between Ted and Rebecca continues to evolve, and Ted feels a deep gratitude for her being the one to check on him after his panic attack. When he asks if he can help her in some way, she asks him to accompany her to a meeting with some minority owners of the club. This leads to the unexpected discovery that her ex-husband Rupert, via his new fiancee, has bought out the share that had belonged to their presumed meeting partners.
This leads to a dart game between Ted and Rupert, where they place a bet: Rupert winning means he gets to make the lineup cards for the final games, and Ted winning means that Rupert has to leave Rebecca alone for the rest of the season. After hustling Rupert into accepting, Ted shows that he’s actually quite accomplished at darts.
As he makes the winning throws, Ted makes a short speech beginning with a Walt Whitman quote: “Be curious, not judgmental.” He observes that people who bully others are often uncurious about their victims, constantly underestimating them, just as Rupert, Rebecca, and everyone else in the pub watching has underestimated him.
There are several takeaways from this part of the episode. The first is the continuing unmasking of Rebecca’s pain by Ted, allowing him to see what she needs from him. In ministry, such a process can take months, and likely even years, to better understand the pain that particular members seem to be acting out of. This needs to be calm and steady work, but also very important for particular relationships to shift. One will need to often process with one’s own “Diamond Dog” group along the way.
The second takeaway are Ted’s observations about curiosity and underestimation. Let’s be honest: there will be church members who won’t be curious about their minister; they just want certain things done a certain way and will act out if those desires aren’t satisfied. The aforementioned calm and steady work of pulling back the curtain on pain will need to be part of the response, but at times, there will just be a need to move forward with what the minister and others believe to be the most faithful path for the congregation to travel together.
There will likely be an aftermath to this as well, and it will be necessary to rely on both congregational leadership and collegial relationships to navigate through it.
For more about ministry transition, check out my new book, The Unintentional Interim: Ministry in Times of Transition.
Jeffrey A. Nelson 