Just One of Eleven

Previously: Called to AFC Richmond

Episode: “Biscuits” (Season 1, Episode 2)

Taking a personal approach. Ted begins to do his fair share of making systemic changes in this episode, but he also makes sure to address issues at the personal level as well. This first manifests when he notices that one of his players, Sam, seems depressed and lethargic. He finds out the cause, which is homesickness for his home country, but also identifies a way to cheer him up: throwing him a birthday party.

Ted also begins to butt heads with his star player, Jamie. He tries to take a personal approach here as well, first by encouraging him to be nicer to Nate and then by reminding him that he’s part of a team.

Finally, Ted begins bringing Ms. Welton biscuits every morning and tries to bond with her by asking about her first concert. He also gifts her with a plastic army man sent by his son. His attempts to build this relationship will be a recurring theme no matter how resistant she is to the idea for a considerable amount of time. She nevertheless notes that Ted does very well at winning people over wherever he goes, which she at first sees as a problem given her intentions to sabotage the team.

Any congregational changes that a minister hopes will last needs to address fundamental changes in the underlying system. However, a key to making this happen lies in the personal touch of individual pastoral relationships. Even churches that are larger in size will require a certain amount of tending to the pastoral side of things to help people feel that they are listened to and cared for. Some of these relationships will take longer than others to develop.

The system will take some time. Ted may be starting to soften some people toward his approach, but others are far from buying in. We see this happen the day of his first match, where the entire crowd and fans at the pub chant “wanker” at him. Some of his players still call him this as well. Nevertheless, he forges ahead in trying to shift the culture.

We begin to hear his vision of the shift that he wants to make when he tells Ms. Welton that he sees everyone in the building as part of the team, which he separately conveys to Jamie as well. He further wants to pursue this vision by following through with the party for Sam and setting up a suggestion box, which almost immediately pays off in having the water pressure in the showers fixed. Doubter Roy appreciates this change, even if he might not let Ted know.

Some systemic changes may not have as much input from the personal side as people would like. Certain changes won’t be possible without them, but others just need to happen and requires a proactive approach that hopefully leaves room for continued relationship-building after the fact. Truly, the two go hand in hand, and it’s a matter of ongoing discernment what the proper ratio of each can be given the needs in the moment.

The power of positivity. Despite the continued setbacks and doubts that Ted experiences, he still finds ways to bring joy. After the loss, he still cranks up the music and invites people to eat cake, even inviting Ms. Welton and Higgins along. He takes time to watch high school kids play soccer and does his best to guard against a teenage girl dribbling a ball toward him. When he meets her again after the match, he seeks a rematch likely knowing that she’ll beat him again. But what’s more important to him is the interaction and the enjoyment of the moment.

We see this positive approach in a different way as Ted tries to figure out how best to get through to Jamie. After Jamie is disrespectful toward him on several occasions, Ted has the option to get tough and ream him out similar to how Roy does. Instead, he seeks out Jamie’s girlfriend Keeley to ask what motivates him. He figures that in the long run, this might be more constructive than to berate him.

Ministry brings its valleys, which are not often easy to endure. Seeking joy in such moments will be a tough task, if it seems possible at all. But a deeper, sustaining sort of joy–the sort that reminds people in ministry of why they do what they do–can be the difference between resilience and giving up. As I write in The Unintentional Interim, maintaining joy may include returning to memories of ministry moments where one felt affirmed in one’s calling, among other possibilities.

The personal and pastoral approach already mentioned could also make a bigger difference with members who are more resistant to change or creating conflict. The temptation may be to rant (which one may still do in private), but seeking what is motivating the individual to act out can help get to the root of the issue and make a more positive change for the relationship and for the system.

For more about ministry transition, check out my new book, The Unintentional Interim: Ministry in Times of Transition.