Below is an excerpt from my new book, The Unintentional Interim: Ministry in Times of Transition:
When one hears the term “disillusionment,” it may conjure a certain set of connotations. When one says that they are disillusioned about something, it usually comes with feelings that we perceive as negative. We tend to associate disillusionment with despair, disappointment, frustration, and hopelessness. And perhaps the word has earned these associations, because disillusionment frequently causes such reactions in the person who experiences it.
However, removed from value judgements that we may place upon it, to become disillusioned is simply to lose an illusion that one has about something. It is the passing away of a false idea that we have in order to see something in more realistic terms.
Think, for instance, about the development of a relationship. When you first meet someone, you may each try to highlight your best qualities to make a positive impression, while also keeping certain personality traits or opinions at bay. You may also guard parts of yourself that you reserve for those for whom you have greater trust, and that you don’t believe should be shared so early with those whom you don’t know as well. Of course, the other person is also likely doing this for similar reasons.
As this new relationship progresses and deepens, and each person involved experiences greater relaxation and trust, those other personality traits, opinions, and guarded history may begin to appear. As this unfolds, each person will begin to lose the illusions that they had during those first more surface-level interactions. You may have had a certain impression of the other person based on those earlier times, and they of you. But as you each reveal more of yourselves to the other, pieces of those impressions begin to fall away, and you each gain greater clarity.
This may result in a better understanding of the other’s true self. Each revelation will also bring a series of reactions, including surprise, joy, greater impressiveness, and deeper love. These reactions may also include doubt, disappointment, hesitation, or even fear. Either way, such clarity can be beneficial, because it helps us see whether this relationship has potential to continue or would be better off coming to an end.
In this example, disillusionment is not necessarily problematic. Rather, it merely brings a more realistic idea of what is currently happening or could happen in the future. It helps us see people, places, groups, events, and institutions more as they actually are, rather than as we think they are. True enough, that may bring negative emotions about the work ahead of us or the limitations on that work. But losing our illusions will help clarify what the work really is.
The theologian Reinhold Neibuhr was a fan of disillusionment when it came to clergy and church leadership:
“A spiritual leader who has too many illusions is useless. One who has lost [their] illusions about [humanity] and retains [their] illusions about [themselves] is insufferable. Let the process of disillusionment continue until the self is included. At that point, of course, only religion can save “from the enervation of despair. But it is at that point that true religion is born.”
Neibuhr wrote this reflection after hearing an itinerant preacher position themselves as a prophet, propping themselves up as the truth-teller and the room’s sole bearer of compassion for the state of the world. This no doubt prompted Neibuhr’s words about insufferability. This person had an illusion about self set over and against (and above) the audience, which propped up a barrier between the preacher and those listening.
Today’s spiritual leaders are not exempt from this and many other illusions about themselves. Those who serve in ministry may harbor illusions about their theological knowledge, liturgical purity, academic credentials, or ministerial acumen. This can lead to a detachment from and even resentment of the people to whom they are trying to minister. Meanwhile such leaders may also miss out on the wealth of experience and wisdom upon which they may draw to minister more effectively in partnership together.
More privileged spiritual leaders who have good intentions about speaking up for or taking action on behalf of the oppressed and less fortunate may be doing so ignorant of how their own sexism, racism, homophobia, trans-phobia, and ableism are nevertheless influencing their activity or lack of activity on such matters. In these cases, the work of disillusionment is always before such leaders, and they will benefit from a stance of listening and centering voices and experiences that differ from their own. This will help the minister gain greater clarity about themselves and the appropriate nature of their work in relation to those whom they wish to help.
In any new ministry venture, disillusionment will be one of the first experiences that helps a minister understand the true nature of the ministry partnership, beginning as early as the first interview or the first official day. The relationship between a minister and congregation, like any relationship, may begin on the surface. The minister will have certain hopes and impressions based on what they already know about the congregation, and the congregation likewise will have their own hopes and ideas based on their limited interactions with the new minister before this date.
As the relationship unfolds further, however, each will gain greater understanding of the other’s preferences, habits, routines, leanings, and even a few potential dealbreakers. The reality may not match each party’s hopes and impressions. Maybe the new minister seems too similar to or too different from the last. Maybe the new congregation isn’t as daring or progressive as they previously let on.
Other negative reactions include disappointment or frustration. A church or minister may have high hopes for a new initiative, only for it to not catch on with as much energy as expected. A minister may harbor a vision of a church willing to follow them into greater involvement with justice and outreach activities, only to face more resistance or apathy. A church may expect a minister to galvanize a new wave of involvement from the surrounding community only to find that more work needs to be done for that to happen. Each of these losses of an illusion may bring disappointment, with one or both sides questioning what will be possible together. They may experience a decline in interest, a hesitancy to work up the energy to try something else, or an increased wariness of the ministry partnership. If the lost illusion or the resultant negative feelings are big enough, a church or minister may not be as enthusiastic for the next initiative, or they may not even want to organize it to begin with.
Negative reactions to disillusionment are natural, and the scope will vary case by case. It may take time and intention for both minister and congregation to work through them. However, once these illusions have begun to fall away, a more honest relationship also will be possible.
The Unintentional Interim: Ministry in Times of Transition is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and The Pilgrim Press website.
Jeffrey A. Nelson 