Pastors In Pubs Telling Stories

What if some ministers organized a club tour? They’d just take turns sitting on stage with their drink of choice, sharing some of their most colorful stories or their biggest struggles.

My own set might go like this:

• sip “So this one time I rode a hospital elevator with a dead body…”
• sip “Let me tell you about the beautiful soul whose baptism, wedding, and funeral I officiated all in the same year…”
• sip “I let this guy live at my house for a few months and I hardly ever talk about it so I can’t freaking believe I’m going to tell all of you…”

They could talk about how hard death is, and how wonderful it is to witness affection at wedding receptions, and what it’s like to look into the eyes of a child while they excitedly tell you what they did in the last week, and how hard and odd-shaped and amazing and heart-breaking relationships in the church can be, and how a sense of loneliness or failure can jump you from behind and lay you out for a week.

This wouldn’t have to happen in a club, I guess. It could happen in a church sanctuary or fellowship hall. But I think the subject matter and the level of honesty, the rough edges of it all, would lend itself to being in a less sanitized space. And both those onstage and the audience might feel more relaxed outside of those nice white walls.

There has been quite a lot of Discourse in the clergy circles in which I run regarding the volume of ministers leaving the profession. It may not be the numbers so much as the ways some have chosen to write about and characterize their experience. Articles like this and posts like this and Substack entries like this have been dominating the conversation lately. Some find them true to their own experience, others take issue with them for various reasons, and still others take issue with the people taking issue. It’s all just been a lot.

I myself have been sitting with what’s been resonating with me. I read of the struggles and my breath still changes and my chest begins hurting as if I’m right back in the most difficult moments of my own years as a pastor. The parts of the Discourse that take issue with these sorts of articles add to it. That’s all my own stuff, which I’ve recognized that my quest for healing in 2023 needs to include.

Ministry can be beautiful and even miraculous. I’ve been part of many such moments. It can also be draining, heartbreaking, and even traumatic. I’ve had those moments as well.

Some think it best to move on. They come to a point where their bodies, minds, and spirits need a break. And their network needs to be of a sort that they’re not considered a failure for discerning that path. Likewise, others find the spiritual resilience and affirmation to continue, and their continued work will be a blessing to those whom they are entrusted to serve.

I wonder, as many others have, if congregations better knew the pressure and stress that ministry can cause, that they could be better partners with their pastors. It may cultivate a little more community and remove a little consumeristic thinking from the church hallways. In my experience, ministry is about increments that add up.

It might not take a handful or more ministers with a stool and microphone on a stage to do that, but it’d provide a unique opportunity for it.

Unfortunately, some might prefer that their pastor remain the idealized caricature of a person standing at the front of the sanctuary saying some nice things without upsetting anyone too much, the screen onto which one may project all their frustrations and insecurities and disappointments.

Ministers are not that idea, though. They’ve seen things, felt things, doubted things, struggled with things. But they keep showing up, and they have some stories to tell about when they do. That is, if anyone is interested. And I truly think many are.

Do we need fewer blog posts and articles and social media rants about this sort of thing? Hell if I know. The Discourse has worn me down a little lately, so ask me again later.

But I do think we need more stories in general. There are many out there. And telling them may create more understanding and may even save a few lives, or at least a few careers.

Does it have to happen in a club? Probably not. But it’d be fun.