Football Is Life

Previously: Called to AFC Richmond, Just One of Eleven, The Christening of Nate the Great, Let’s Finally Talk About Rebecca, Oklahoma

Episode: “Two Aces” (Season 1, Episode 6)

Frayed around the edges. After the life-changing moment in the previous episode where Ted lets his wife go, he doesn’t deal much with it here. At least, not directly. There are several times when it becomes obvious that he’s still hurting, but it shows in ways that he doesn’t intend.

First, in the cold open, Ted comes into the locker room giving a stream-of-consciousness monologue that doesn’t make much sense, and puts his sweater on backwards. He is quite scatterbrained and trying to mask how he’s feeling. Second, Ted does finally go off on Jamie’s behavior, yelling at him in front of the rest of the team and telling him to set up the cones. This may be a basic coaching tactic, but in the context of what’s happening it is likely Ted also channeling his sadness and anger into his work. Finally, Ted yells at Rebecca in similar fashion after he finds out that Jamie has been recalled by Manchester City.

Once again, as best as ministers can try to keep them separated, there will come times when one’s personal life will affect one’s work life. While we may have boundaries in place to prevent this from happening in overt ways, there may still come times when we may be a little too short during a committee meeting, overshare about our own lives during a pastoral visit, or cut corners when planning worship. These may be more difficult to control in the moment, or we may not realize that we’ve done it until later. But monitoring our own internal reactions, asking forgiveness when warranted, and taking time for self-care and time off becomes even more important when we know our ability to minister is under duress.

Remembering joy. Everything that Jamie has been putting Ted and the team through finally comes to a head this episode. After being benched during their recent win, he becomes even more defiant, refusing to practice with the team, leading to Ted’s aforementioned outburst. This initially seems to cause Jamie to put up yet another layer of self-isolation.

And then Dani Rojas, a new player, arrives. He is talented, exuberant, and his love for the game is infectious to those around him. Dani seems to do everything because football just makes him happy. His refrain, “football is life,” reflects this. He even turns Jamie kicking a ball into the crossbar into a light-hearted game between the two.

Jamie’s walls finally come down near the end of the episode. He tells a story of how his mother just wanted him to have fun playing the game, while his father wanted him to toughen up, go for the win, and dominate the field. He admits that he started living much more by his father’s way and forgot to just enjoy the game like his mother encouraged.

It can take quite a long while for a minister to break through to certain parishioners. A phrase that I often use in ministry is “this is not about that,” meaning that the issue that a member presents on the surface is likely not really what a conflict or behavior is about (see what I’ve already written about ministers’ personal lives above). Jamie’s aloofness and arrogance turns out to be from childhood issues, just as Rebecca’s attempts to sabotage the team is about her own hurt with Rupert. It may take time to figure out what the “this” is really about.

A team united. When Dani is hurt during practice, members of the team explain that it’s because he went into the training room that everyone believes is “cursed” thanks to an underhanded tactic to recruit soldiers undertaken by the government during World War I. And so Ted plans a ceremony to reverse the curse, where everyone is invited to bring a treasured item to burn in a large barrel at the practice facility.

The ceremony becomes a bonding exercise, as each person shares how the item they’ve brought is meaningful to them. This includes Jamie, who tells the story about his parents instilling in him different approaches to the game. The stories bring the team together, Dani returns triumphantly with a bottle of liquor to share, and the team sings together while passing it around. The next day, the atmosphere of the locker room has become much more relaxed and energetic. Ted’s effect on the culture is finally taking root.

Part of ministry is creating space for people to make connections between their own lives and the divine. It entails making room for people to bring parts of themselves into the open that they may be used to hiding. Liturgy and prayer practices can be powerful opportunities for this to happen. And when it does happen, the culture may shift toward one of greater trust, whether that trust is in God, the minister, each other, or some combination of two or all three.

For more about ministry transition, check out my new book, The Unintentional Interim: Ministry in Times of Transition.